Brian

His profile looked nice, he lived in Bellevue, and seemed smart. I decided to meet him for these reasons, and not just because he told me I was pretty every chance he got. We played pool, and that's when he dropped the bomb. He doesn't drink.... And not for a legit reason like - I'm sober 5 years, or trying to better his life. He has tummy issues* with alcohol. Instead of running for the hills like most sane people, I let my vanity take over and I agreed to meet him. 

We (he) decided to play pool and he spent most of it condescendingly trying to coach me. Ain't nobody got time for that, especially me. He said lets go to the wine shop and I thought hey - he'll buy, I'll drink, he'll drive. Instead, he asked for 4 of their cheapest bottles of wine for his family members. Sexy much? He asked if I wanted to go back to his place to drink some wine, and after confirming that he wouldn't kill me and my coworker/his neighbor was home, I agreed. Upon seeing his spotless place (think Monk on steroids) I realized that, holy shit, this guy might murder me and wear my skin. But he offered me wine and you know I like my wine, so I had a glass - while he had milk. At this point I decided I should go because this was going nowhere, and my flu had become too much to actually be in public. (I was violently ill... For reals, y'all. It lasted almost 5 weeks.)

*And by tummy issues, I mean he had serious problems and was getting sick all the time (I'd be so lucky... Think of how skinny I'd be). The doctors aren't sure what is wrong, but he knows he feels awful after he drinks. Now you know the truth, but as you can see, it's not that entertaining. But while I like to tell it like it is, I also like to tell the truth... And prove that I'm not a total beezy all the time. 

Jordan (#2)

July-Dec, 2013

This is the story of a girl from Seattle, a boy from Portland, and a drunken hook up turned into another drunken hook up turned into every weekend together turned into a relationship. 6 months cannot possibly be summed up in the limited character space this post is allowing me, so here is the gist: We had our highs and we had our lows, but while our highs were amazing and frequent, our lows were awful and far too frequent. There were drinking issues, jealousy issues, smoking issues, bitchiness issues, and maybe the hardest issue of all, the long distance. But there is no sense in remembering anything except the good. So instead, I will remember how he bought me spices for my birthday because he knew it would help make my bland diet food taste amazing... how he helped me realize fun could be something other than eating candy and watching movies alone... how he dropped my BFF and I off at our half marathon, and picked us up with chilled gatorade and warm hoodies... and how he made me feel beautiful, really beautiful, for the first time in my life. So yes, when I look back on our time together, these things (as well as other things in multiples...) will be what I look back at.

The Way I Tend To Be

Jordan (#2) told me he heard this song and thought about me. Maybe the most applicable song ever. EVER.